Most patch notes are boring. Fixed a bug that stopped a menu from opening properly. D.Va's Defense Matrix doesn't last as long. Wukong's attack speed is 10 percent slower. That's the usual stuff, chronicling important but dull balance changes across years of a game's life. And then there are patch notes like this: "Added cat butchery." "Made all undead respectful of one another." "Tigerman does not have ears." That's the good stuff. Those are the kinds of wonderfully crazy patch notes Dwarf Fortress has given us over the years . Determined to top the absurdity of Dwarf Fortress's bizarre changelogs, I put on my deerstalker, grabbed my magnifying glass, and set out to find the strangest patch notes in the history of PC gaming. These absurdities are the result. Rimworld Alpha 12 * Colonists will visit graves of dead colonists for a joy activity. ; Alpha 16 * New alert: Unhappy nudity ; Alpha 17 * Raiders will no longer compulsively attack doors. ; --- Conan Exiles Patch 15.2.2017 * Rhinos should no longer try to
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