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Most patch notes are boring. Fixed a bug that stopped a menu from opening properly. D.Va's Defense Matrix doesn't last as long. Wukong's attack speed is 10 percent slower. That's the usual stuff, chronicling important but dull balance changes across years of a game's life. And then there are patch notes like this: "Added cat butchery." "Made all undead respectful of one another." "Tigerman does not have ears." That's the good stuff. Those are the kinds of wonderfully crazy patch notes Dwarf Fortress has given us over the years . Determined to top the absurdity of Dwarf Fortress's bizarre changelogs, I put on my deerstalker, grabbed my magnifying glass, and set out to find the strangest patch notes in the history of PC gaming. These absurdities are the result.  Rimworld Alpha 12 * Colonists will visit graves of dead colonists for a joy activity. ; Alpha 16 * New alert: Unhappy nudity ; Alpha 17 * Raiders will no longer compulsively attack doors. ; --- Conan Exiles Patch 15.2.2017 * Rhinos should no longer try to

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Nvidia's software engineers seem to have worked overtime on the company's GeForce 385.41 WHQL drivers. The "Game Ready" driver package brings support and optimizations to half a dozen games, whereas as Nvidia usually focuses on just one or two. If you own a GeForce graphics card and are planning to participate in the Destiny 2 open beta that kicks off August 28 and runs until the end of the month, you will want to install this driver package. Other games that Nvidia focused on include PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds, ARK: Survival Evolved, F1 2017, Pro Evolution Soccer 2018, and Quake Champions (Steam Early Access). That is quite the list. In addition, you will find new or updated SLI profiles for ARK: Survival Evolved, Destiny 2, Faith of Danschant, Lawbreakers, Secret World Legends, and Starpoint Gemini Warlords. And if you're gaming on a laptop, the latest driver release introduces Whisper Mode profiles for F1 2017 and Destiny 2. Beyond that, there is a 3D Vision profile for Pro Evolution Soccer 2018 that is rated as "Excellent." While Nvidia's engineers spent a lot of time optimizing code for several games, they only got around to stomping out a single bug. For GeForce GTX 970 owners playing Lawbreakers, the 385.41 driver release addresses an issue that was causing a drop in framerates.

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Ark: Survival Evolved is inching ever closer to leaving Early Access, and in preparation of its launch, hundreds of official servers are going extinct. These low-population servers, which make up about 33% of all existing servers, are being wiped on August 29, so if you've got pet dinos or other belongings you don't want to lose, it's time to pack them up and stuff them (and your character) into an Obelisk or Tek Transmitter so you can retrieve them from a different server later. You can see a full list of official PC servers that are getting wiped right here. "Any existing server that is not considered a low pop server and is not taken down will become a Legacy server," the post on Ark's official site reads. "Legacy servers will remain on a separate cluster from the new cluster, which means you will not be able to transfer anything between Legacy servers and the new servers." Legacy servers will "receive all of the same fixes and content that the new cluster will" the post says. However, Legacy servers will no longer be supported by Ark's customer service: "All outstanding tickets to our Customer Support team will be wiped clean on launch day, and no future tickets submitted by

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Ark: Survival Evolved is famous for its ferocious bestiary. This is a game that literally has dinosaurs with frickin' lasers attached to their heads, after all. The latest creature to be added to the game is quite a bit different from all of that, however, because instead of being huge and fierce (or even just kind of big, but still fierce), this new creature is a straight-up cuddler. It's an otter.  Technically it's the "Lutra peloso," which as near as I can figure means "hairy otter" or something to that effect, but the point is that this isn't some giant, faux-prehistoric take on the beast that you can ride or feed your enemies to. It's just an otter, as we know and love them. You can even let it ride up on your shoulder. "Found along the Island’s many inland waterways, Lutra Peloso have become exceptionally adept at hunting and foraging. This species of Otter has to be particularly cunning because of its diminutive size, and fierce competition for its preferred food source: fish. It is not a creature

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Ark: Survival Evolved developer Studio Wildcard has some bad news, but also some good. Let's get the bad out of the way first: The process of prepping the game for retail release took longer than expected, and so the planned launch date of August 8, which the studio announced back in June, has been pushed to August 29.    "We're deeply apologetic for those who were negatively affected by the delay; it sucks, it wasn't what we had wanted, nor planned but where we currently stand," the studio explained in a weekend update. "We wanted to address this sooner but did not want to make any statements until we were completely sure of what was going to happen."  The delay also impacts the release of a planned update for the Ragnarok expansion map, which Studio Wildcard said is actually the upside to the whole thing. "This extended time will allow further development of the map and you guys can expect a gigantic update, even bigger than we initially thought," it explained. "On the date of release, the overground of the

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In February, Ark: Survival Evolved developer Studio Wildcard unveiled a sponsored programme that would pay mod creators on a monthly basis for their work. Offering a stipend of $4,000 per month, each individual's work would be evaluated, and it would thereafter be determined if those modders would continue to be paid for the next month.  With the dino hunter's August 8 PC release looming, however, not much has been said about the programme since—its Ragnarok map has been received well, however we don't know much about what happens next. To this end, I spoke to the developer's Jesse Stieglitz about how he and his team plan to grow the initiative post-launch.  "We've not dedicated all that much time to promoting it, maybe not as much as we'd have liked to, however that's probably because we've been focused on shaping things up for our retail launch," says Stieglitz. "But we recently put out our next official mod called Ragnarok with a mod team that's now officially supported and we'll continue to have servers up for it and we'll have updates and more polished applied.  "They basically get not only money from us but

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